I've always admired ramp models and fashion bloggers. They just exude that special confidence. Models walk like it's nothing. Fashion bloggers post their own photos on their blogs. I am neither of the two. First, I don't have the height and the body to become a model. I'm 5'5" and I weigh ... uhm, let's not talk about specifics. Fine, I'm a size US 4 for tops and 6/8 for pants. Second, I haven't dwelled too much on the idea of becoming a fashion blogger, and it's really because I feel insecure about my body, especially after I've given birth to Allie. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Although I'm almost at my pre-pregancy weight, I don't think I'll ever have my pre-pregnancy body ever unless I have plastic surgery.
Mommies, you know what I am talking about -- stretch marks, preggy tummy fat, and oversized hips. Oh yeah, put that bigger boobs on that list, too. I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually prefer smaller ones. Don't tell me husband I said that. Haha.
I've tried quite a few workouts - I had a personal trainer at the gym once upon a time, then I tried anti-gravity yoga, then just plain yoga, and more recently, crossfit. Nothing kept me going. Going to the gym just makes me super hungry afterwards, and I actually gained weight from it. I had a bad experience with anti-gravity yoga -- never again in a million years. Ordinary yoga was kinda alright, and I'm willing to try it again. But crossfit and my body are still incompatible as of today. I will try it again soon when my body's stronger, but not yet. It's too strenuous for me. But I am about to embark another fitness regimen to make my body more fit and leaner. I'll talk about that next time.
A few weeks back in June, I got invited to guest at a fashion show for Style Origin that was held in Trinoma. I figured it was going to be fun, and I get to tackle my body insecurity head on. So I joined. Well, I was in for a big surprise. I didn't expect it to be big, BIG. But it was BIG. I walked the ramp with professional models, fashion bloggers and celebrities. Oh my gosh. It was even directed by Mr. Robbie Carmona himself.
First, I got to pick my own clothes from Ensembles, a local brand that I really like. We were asked to bring our own shoes, so that really helped my confidence. Then, I met with my fellow bloggers and practiced walking. Eek, I think I was the most inexperienced one. But I told myself, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
I had my hair and make-up done by the Shiseido team. They transformed administrative offices to temporary hair and make-up studios. The place was insanely busy. So yeah, I felt really out of place, and my insecurity was just building up. My consolation that time was that my make-up artist told me I had really, really good skin. He even asked me what products I use.
Okay, so when the time came for us to go backstage, the professional models and celebrities were there with us. The organizers were arranging the clothes to be worn by the models. It was crazy messy. It was like they were having a warehouse sale. Well, that, and there were tons of abs everywhere. Yes, those abs made me forget about the butterflies in my stomach for a moment.
I was the first blogger to walk, and I was still getting the jitters at the last second. Bloggers walked alone. I came after these beautiful, skinny models. Thank goodness, I was able to go through with it. Here's proof that I was there. Haha.
Yes, I know I probably was the one with the fattest body who walked. I felt like it too. I learned not to care what other people think by then, as long as I feel comfortable and beautiful like the Dove women that I see on commercials, I'll be fine. Just keeping it real folks. Besides, I think I was the only mommy blogger there, so kudos to me. Haha.
I'm glad I joined. I felt I could do anything. Would I do it again? Absolutely.